Monday, December 22, 2008

Holly Jolly

Has it really been almost 3 weeks since I posted last? Yikes. The holiday season just seems to make time go by even faster than ever. Life in suburbia continues on for us. I think I have the holiday shopping done but always feel as though I could just get one more perfect gift for that last person. Neither Gary nor I had any must have's this holiday season and so it creates a rather boring Christmas morning opening our gifts to each other, but given the economy best not to waste money on high priced gifts that we are not sure we can use anyway.

I think our best gift would be a house. One that would be in our ideal price range, near my parents or big enough to have an in law as part of it and still in our town preferably not on Main Street, but on a nice little side road less traveled. Really it's all I want and we have been looking for close to 4 years for a gem of this sort. Most of what comes to us is either too high priced, on a main street or just far enough away from my parents that I don't want to give up the across the yard distance that we have now. I realize that my expectations are a bit high, but it's hard to give up the grandparents next door and probably equally as hard for them to think of us leaving.

Today is the last day of daycare for the girls before the holidays. The daycare closes from December 23 through January 5th to let the workers have their time off at the holidays. I think it's nice really. So today is my last day of work before the holidays as well. For the most part I think I was already gone last week when all the snow hit. It was not a fun ride into work today and I am going to leave to head home shortly given the current attendance in work today is probably less than half the workforce. Plus everyone I need to talk to is out probably with their cars buried under a foot of frozen snow until Wednesday when the temps make it up above freezing or sub arctic chill level that we have now. Brrrr..

Oh and for those of you on the edge of your seats with my WW news, I lost 1/2 pound two weeks ago breaking my old plateau and putting me on a new one last week when I stayed the same and probably again tomorrow night when I go back. I am not too discouraged despite only having lost about 14 pounds since I started this journey back in freaking August. I haven't been giving it my all that it deserves with counting every morsel and getting my butt into exercise mode as needed. But at the same time at least I didn't gain the 7-10 that some people do gain in the holiday season. If I can maintain this week and next I think I will be happy. Plus WW came out with a new program which is actually a spin on the old one that has eliminated the Core Plan but combined it with the flex plan. Obviously I have to read my materials better from last week, this is just the gist of it, I haven't read it all thoroughly enough to report how it works.

In case I don't get to post again before the big day since my posting skills have obviously been slacking lately, I wish you all the merriest and joyous holidays. May your stockings be full, your presents wrapped in time and your preparations all well appreciated. I hope to catch you again before the new year ascends.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Not yet

Nicole woke up from her afternoon nap yesterday with a big 'ole spot of eye grossness on it. At first I wiped it away not thinking much of it and then within minutes another one reappeared. Since I was so happy to be done with antibiotics and back on our way to a nice healed bum, I was not happy to see these eye boogies appearing. I had a conference call for work scheduled at 4:30, just two hours from when she woke up with this conditions. Gary was coming home to keep the girls at bay while I was on said call. So I quickly dialed the pediatricians office and got her a 4PM appointment that Gary took her and Aimee to. Turns out her right ear is still infected even though it is her left eye that is all goopy. Go figure. These sinuses are very tricky things indeed. I gave Gary specific instructions on asking about her diaper rash that was starting to clear up and avoid getting her on any more augmenten since it was just starting to heal it. We had been on Omnicef once before which also produced similar results but also added a total body rash. So this time we got a Z-pak in liquid form and we need to go back in 10 days to be sure the infection is cleared. From there we sit and wait to see what happens the rest of the winter because one more will prompt the tubes discussion. Last winter we did a preventative antibiotic every day and it worked great. I am not sure what is in store for us this winter.

Thank God I am beefing up my own immune system since it appears I can't not get what my girls love to pick up. Despite my rigid hand washing for both of them and face covering with every cough I still get whatever bug they have and this time is no exception. Ugh. I am glad I haven't taken any sick time yet this season!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Old or helplessly out of style?

While in work the other day I was waiting in the elevator lobby of my floor with someone who obviously works for my company. This individual had on dark wash jeans that were about 4 inches too short for him, white socks, what can only be described as zips sneakers, a zip up hoody sweatshirt and a head of unwashed, pillow marked hair. Now in my company we do have a policy of business casual for work but I am not sure this quite qualifies. He was also rather scruffy in the beard with areas that didn't even fill in so it just looked odd.

Then on my usual lunch walk I saw some people along the route decked out in what can only be described as extremes. Granted I work in Kendall Square and there is biotechnology overload there as well as MIT which has it's own kind of interesting individuals. Then in a moment of sheer panic I thought - what if it isn't them? What if it's me? I know that my style isn't really to wear what is in style at the moment. Mainly because my body does not lend itself to wear low cut jeans, boot style or flare too well. I also don't like the tapered or skinny leg thing going on now and I almost fell over while shopping for Aimee and saw stirrup pants. Stirrups, in the Children's Place. Ugh. I think I am more of a classic dresser for work and horribly old stuff for home. I don't think I own any in between, at least not any that fits right now anyway. So I am on a mission. Macy's is having a one - day sale Saturday (with a preview day on Friday of course which always makes me laugh) so I am on a hunt to spruce up my wardrobe.

Which brings me to my other admission here...WW. I haven't gained, thank God, but I haven't lost either in 5 weeks! 5 Weeks people. That has been incredibly frustrating for me. I realize it's technically the holiday season and many people gain in this time but man if I eat one more salad I may not be able to look lettuce in the face ever again. My one saving grace is a friend of mine from high school turned me onto other add ins to the salad. I always think of salad as lettuce, tomato, cucumber, etc. But at her daughter's birthday party a few weeks ago she made a salad of bagged arugula (is that a word for lettuce or did I just pull that out of my you know what?) and sprinkle some craisins, glazed pecans and a tablespoon of Feta cheese. Mix it in with a salad dressing consisting of a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar, dijon mustard, a little garlic and a pinch of sugar to cut the acid. It's been awesome! So I have been tinkering with the add ins and have gone to raisins - golden and brown, almond slices, walnuts and apple slices. I have been in heaven. So hold out for next week. Tuesday is weigh in day and I better damn well have lost a pound or too for all the Hershey kisses I have said no to thus far.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Rash from hell

Luckily we are done with a round of antibiotics that really seemed to tear up Nicole's diaper area something terrible. We've been through this before but for some reason this time it really really did a number on her. We tried Nystatin, Triple paste, Desitin, Lotrimin and Gold Bond Baby all in various combinations of layers. Still she has these two little areas that just won't heal. So hopefully with today being our last dose we will be on the mends. I can't imagine how much it hurts her except that it takes two of us to hold down my 22lb peanut to change said terrible diaper area.

In other news, this is my last post for November thus ending the NaBloPoMo. I am not sure I could EVER do a post a day. I just don't have the time to sit down and type every night. I am sure a lot of my friends on Facebook wonder if I disappear with all the time I can spend away from the computer. Just happens.

Onto December. Only 24 shopping days until Christmas!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Getting it Together

I wish I could say that I did manage to post at least every other day this month, but apparently even that isn't true. It's not like I don't have the material, just not enough time to actually sit down and type up something by the day's end. Case and point, it is now almost 8:30 on Saturday night, Gary is at the Bruins game, Aimee is fast asleep and Nicole is not happy about being in her crib alone and is letting me know it. So I don't even have these few minutes to fill you in on our incredibly (cough, cough) exciting lives.

Thanksgiving was a nice day. We were busy shuttling from house to house in an effort to make all the rounds to see each family member. The girls still haven't quite recovered from little to no naps and later nights to bed. But it was a lot of fun.

Gary and I attempted shopping on Black Friday and actually did get the girls some things and almost finished our shopping. An accomplishment I never would have thought possible. His parents were nice enough to take the girls for the afternoon while we went shopping. It took us about 1/3 the time it would normally take us to shop had we brought the girls with us. So score in that department.

This is my favorite time of the year. We start the holiday traditions of finding the perfect gifts, wrapping them all up and coordinating our celebrations. The calendar is quite packed with parties, gift grabs and cooking plans. The girls even recognize the big guy on TV when they see him.

We're getting it together and hopefully we'll be decorated, wrapped and ready for the Christmas holidays soon.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Family duties

Yesterday on my way to work I got a frantic phone call from my mother asking me to come over and look at her eye. A little background information is that she had some vision issues a while ago where she lost sight in her left eye. She can still drive since you need 180 degree peripheral vision and she does have that. But it seems as though if something is going to go wrong with her, it happens to her right eye, the only good one. So on Monday she called me and said "come look at my eye". Apparently she caught the fun cold the girls and I muddled through and ended up with a pinkish eye. So I abandoned my trip to work to investigate.

Turns out her eye wasn't any more red than anyone else with a head cold but you can't tell with these things. In any event I took her to the DR, dropped Dad off at Hilltop so he could do some pre-holiday shopping and then picked everyone up and headed back home.

When did we all switch roles? I think when I became a mother it started to reach further than my own children and I have in some ways switched roles with my parents. It's daunting really and I wish that I had had kids earlier so that they could have been more independent when my kids are small. The still get around well and it's not like they are housebound but they certainly did much more only 5 years ago.

They are still some of the most important people in my children's lives but it's funny to look at my father and not really see any changes in him in my mind's eye. But yet my kids have never known him to drive a car, work a full time job or whip up a set of brick stairs. They never saw my mother in her scrubs heading off to care for the ailing in her nursely duties. Then again when my grandparents came to live next door to us I didn't see any of these things with them either. So yet again I am in realization that the cycle of life really does for the most part repeat.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Couldn't it be every other day this month?

Because I am certain I could do the every other day posting thing. This post a day is very hard for me, but I haven't given up yet. We have had a few setbacks here health wise. Here I am congratulating myself that both girls got through their first major cold of the season relatively unscathed and now I have a cabinet stocked full of antibiotics. What fun. Aimee ended up with a bulging ear infection which basically means there is so much pressure and pus behind the ear drum that it bulges out. Awesome. Nicole started to show signs of conjunctivitis and lo and behold it is because she has a double ear infection. Hers were not bulging but there was a lot of fluid behind both ear drums.

So suffice to say we have been very busy here lately. We hope to return to regularly scheduled programming by tomorrow. We'll see.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

And so it goes....again

Since I don't work full time, nor am I home with the girls full time, I feel as though I am always half assing my way through things. Today for example Aimee was not 100 percent because we just discovered yesterday after a trip to the doctor for a cold that would not let up that she has quite an ear infection in her right ear. So getting out the door today took a little more effort than it normally does for us. And our house is a wreck right now to prove it. I know I left the house with toy pieces everywhere, dishes in the sink and the coffee grinds still in the coffee maker.

But, Gary took the girls to school, dropping Nicole off at daycare and Aimee off a nursery school. He called me and asked me to meet him at the school because some pictures that were taken of them at the daycare (their "school pictures") came back and he wanted me to see them. So I met him at the nursery school, saw the pictures and instantly I became the attention giver. Aimee needed me to take her into school. So since being on time to work had already gone out the window I took a moment to get her out of her father's truck and walk her to school and deposit her safely. As I got into my car, I needed to write a check and when writing the date it occurred to me that today is my wedding anniversary.

Amazing isn't it? I forgot my own anniversary with all of the things we do everyday as part of taking care of the kids, house, work, etc. we totally forgot that a mere four years ago (I know, a three year old and a 2 year old...not much time wasted is in all of your minds..) we exchanged vows among our family and friends and partied afterwards. We did make plans to go out to dinner this weekend so it's not like we let it slip by entirely but the fact that living life in Suburbia has taken precedence over all other pieces in my life. It's amazing to me that four short years ago we were standing there with all of this ahead of us. Yet, four years from now, Aimee will be in 2nd grade and Nicole in kindergarten. I didn't know time goes by so fast until I had kids. I also didn't know the love I had for Gary on that November day four years ago would lead to even a greater love for him seeing him with our children from that union.

So here's to the first four years and hopes for many many more in the future.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Girls Day Out

On Tuesdays, Nicole and I drop Aimee off at nursery school and then try to find something to do with ourselves for 2 and 1/2 hours. It's a strange period of time. Not enough time for some things, too much for others. I would try to grocery shop at this point in the week but Aimee really likes visiting the deli for her slice of cheese and gets upset if she realizes we went to the grocery store without her so that options out.

Today we went to the mall. I don't know what happened in the last 10 days since I was there but apparently Santa arrived, the big Christmas tree is there and every store is having holiday sales. I don't know about you but I hate feeling rushed. I even realized today that Oldies 103 here in Boston is already playing continuous holiday music. Now I love Christmas as much as the next person but for some reason this year I am having a hard time adapting to the fact that the cold weather is actually here. I feel like it was August yesterday. So Nicole in her stroller and me pushing her we walked the mall together to get some exercise and check out what is in the stores right now. It's going to be a sparse Christmas this year since we really don't need much and there are not any big ticket items for us to purchase and we are afraid to use a credit card for anything these days. But it was nice to walk around the mall, check out the sites and see the big man himself sitting there having kids sit on his lap for pictures. Should be interesting to see how this goes for us. Last year we got a decent shot of the girls with Santa in their matching sweaters and jeans on. But Nicole is in that strange phase where anyone not mom or dad or relative send her into a face hiding snuggle into my shoulder.

It's nice to have this time just the two of us together. Ideally I probably should have enrolled her in a music class or something but this is what Aimee and I did together...stroll the malls, check out the people and the sales and it was fun to do it again today. You know what really floored me today? I came home and checked the calendar and realized that there are only 5 more Tuesdays until Christmas.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Snuggle

Last night was yet another loss in the battle of the sleep. Aimee had a tough night in general for some reason. She kept crying out, not quite awake not quite asleep. Finally I asked her if she wanted to sleep in my bed with me. She gave me a little squeak of a yes and into my bed we went at about 9PM. As soon as she got there she suddenly became very chatty and told me how much she loves to snuggle with me. To be honest, it is very endearing. But I am still battling the cold they gave to me and I was exhausted, uncomfortable and not really into snuggling last night. But I was happy that being next to me brought her enough solace to fall into a less fitful sleep so I endured. Until about 12:30 when Nicole woke up and called for me. I thought that perhaps she needed a diaper change but a quick change revealed just a damp diaper. So for three hours we sat together in her room until 3:30AM when she finally fell asleep again and I was able to put her into bed. I somehow made it into my own bed at that point and got to sleep until about 6AM. Needless to say I have a bit of a headache to go with my congested head. I can't tell if it is because of the congestion or lack of sleep, but either way I am going to bed sans kids tonight.

I am hoping for an uneventful night. Do any parents get to sleep all night through consistently? My mother can't recall any of us doing this sort of thing to her but I don't know if it's just the distance of it all in her memory or if she was blessed with good sleepers. I know my sister in law has good sleepers. I think that you either have good sleepers or you don't. Aimee was a good sleeper until she got into a big girl bed then it all went down hill. Nicole never slept well. So I am off to bed, I may be snuggling later with a kid or two - we'll see.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My turn

Well the girls have beaten their cold, but apparently it's my turn. I didn't want to disappoint the few of you that are out there and miss yet another day of posting but I am not quite up to par today. I knew it was coming on with my scratchy throat and tiredness but I thought if I had enough vitamin C and rest that I could beat it. Sadly that is not the case. My head feels like it is going to implode and everything sounds like it's in the other room to me. Ever get that feeling with a cold, that you aren't quite there? So I have put the kids in bed, Gary is cooking supper for me and his lunch for the week (includes peppers, onions, carrots and chicken all in one pan...thankfully my nose is plugged up..) and I am going to sit down for about the first time today. That is the problem with having kids and getting sick, you just can't become the priority.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Cancelled

I used to watch a fair amount of TV in my earlier days. Particularly when I had graduated from college, lived at home and worked full time. Obviously this was way before kids, Gary and being grown up. Now we have this wonderful device known as a DVR so while I would like to watch more TV, I can't actually do it. Instead I record many shows that I would like to watch and fill up our DVR as it goes unwatched. However, last night I made an effort to watch some of my DVR'd shows. One in particular had just started this season, The Ex List. Basically it is about a woman who goes to a psychic and is told she only has a year to marry and she has already met the man she is supposed to marry. So each episode she co-incidentally runs into a new old flame. Not a great premise but I like it. It's a light, airy, comedy type of show that I find refreshing in the world of COPS, CSI, Numbers, etc. that are basically all based on crime. And all the reality shows. I will admit tuning into some of them once in a while like Biggest Loser (okay I love this one), American Idol and Dancing with the Stars, but that is about it.

So I catch up on the two episodes I had on DVR and realize that it wasn't on last night at it's usually scheduled time slot of 9PM. Hmmm...a little googling and I find that it has been cancelled. Cancelled. I HATE THAT! It's not enough that we had to sit through boring TV last year due to a writers strike, but a few of the shows I have liked over the last few years have ended up being shelved. It ticks me off. The list is growing and growing and it's sad to me. Again I am not huge into the more gloomy shows listed above so the ones I like that seem to get cancelled are the funnier ones to me. The following is a list of my all time favs...

Freaks and Geeks - seriously one of the best shows of all time that aired for such a short time.
The Class - One season it lasted and ended and I easily came close to peeing my pants each episode.
Arrested Development - need I say any more?
Saved! - a TNT original series that I really got into one summer never to be heard from again
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - Star studded cast yet still it failed. At least they ended it easily by tying up all of the loose ends.
Side Order of Life - A cheesy but cute Lifetime Original series that lasted one summer season

I am sure there are more but that is all I can think of at the moment. So what are your favorite shows that have been cancelled? I think the ultimate bummer is having the shows on the DVR, getting into them and THEN realizing they are cancelled.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Another day

The girls continue on their quest to rid themselves of the never ending cough that has come to rest at the base of their throats but thankfully not quite in their lungs. As such I figured that we really didn't need to infect our friends at playgroup should any stray spit fly as the result of a deep throated cough. So we spent most of the day inside. I won't lie...it was another rough day.

I thought about going outside at one point but between the wetness outside, the lack of cooperation in getting dressed inside and the overall gloom of the day we decided to stay inside. My mistake. I should have just thrown on any type of footwear they would have taken, let them go without a coat and called it a day and went outside. The two of them have been fighting non-stop - one watching the other just waiting for them to drop a toy so the other could come in for the swoop and take it away, thus wreaking havoc on the other sister. I really should invest in a black and white striped shirt; at least I would feel the part of referee.

On the bright side both girls slept right through the night last night which caused me to listen to every little creak and squeak just waiting for something to happen. Hopefully we can have a repeat performance tonight and I will actually sleep through too.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Still trying

I have missed a few days with the posting every day but I am way ahead of where I normally am for posting each month so I am going to consider it a success. I didn't post yesterday because it was one of those days as a parent where you wonder if you have enough patience to do this job. The girls and Gary are the love of my life, really, but yesterday my patience was tested to the breaking point. I know the major part of it is the fact that both girls are sick right now with coughs that can be likened to 50 year old pack a day smokers.

We missed swimming yesterday because I didn't think that getting wet and being cold would really help Aimee's current cold state. So we stayed at home all day and therein lies the problems that occurred yesterday. I tried as best I could to distract with Play doh, coloring, markers, baking, etc. but with each passing task the girls got more out of control and my patience was thinner and thinner. I don't think the lack of sleep from the past few nights due to their colds and both of them waking at separate times throughout the night did much to keep the anger at bay either.

I finally snapped at about 4PM when I asked Aimee to help me pick up the millions of pieces of toys on the living room floor to get ready for supper when she looked me straight in the eye and said "no". So I tried another tactic and tried to make a race out of it to see who could pick up more stuff the fastest to which she said.."I don't want to." Lovely. So I threatened with a time out and she said "okay" and went off to her room. While in there she proceeded to remove every single book from her bookcase. Now Aimee loves to read and has close to 60 books on her shelf so I reached the point of no return and raised my voice to a level that not only got her attention but made her start to cry and say "you scared me."

Again, I will take that parent of the year award anytime now....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bedroom for Three?

Apparently the croup has come back to visit our house. I was outside with Aimee last night at about 12AM letting her take deep breaths of the holy cold air. The two of us were quite a sight had any cars actually come by at that hour to witness. Me in my lovely flannel pants and huge wool sweater and Aimee in her PJs with winter hat and coat, the two of us wrapped in a big blanket. It actually helped her quite a bit and after a little while the two of us went back to bed...together. Only to be joined by another barking seal in Nicole's room. Yes, double trouble truly. She didn't sound nearly as bad as Aimee but Gary went into get her and brought her to me. Gary got to head to Aimee's room with it's flannel sheets, snuggly blanket and every stuffed animal known to man while I stayed in between the two furnaces and tried to get a few winks. It never ceases to amaze me that they will be up all night sometimes in their beds but they come into mine, heave a sigh of relief and sleep right up until 7:30. Go figure.

Thoughts and wishes that tonight will be better. Aimee already asked me if we can go outside and sit on the steps tonight. My response.."I hope not" which of course got the requisite.."why?" At least I can always count on somethings in my life.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Welcome to winter

One minute we are happy and snappy beating all the germs to the punch with our clean hands and vitamin C intake. However, apparently there is no way to get out of the winter colds. Of course it isn't full blown yet. But I was outside all day today doing some work at one of my project sites. While it wasn't that cold outside, it was very breezy because we are down the Cape and on a golf course. But now after being there all day I am feeling a bit chilled, wind burnt and with a scratchy throat. Grr. So I am off to bed but I didn't want to neglect my few readers out there and not post just because Old Man Winter is starting to get the better of me.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

With cat like reflexes

Last night in our never ending battle of going to bed Nicole was calling from her room "baby bottle" so that she could feed her baby while she was in bed. However, I have found that if I give into this request I can sometimes find this bottle within the confines of her sleeper so I don't typically give into this request. Last night however she was relentless in asking. I was eating my late supper while Gary was preparing something on the stove when we hear the pitter patter of little feet coming down the hallway and into the living room and shrieking "baby bottle". She picked up the bottle and Gary and I looked at each other with very surprised looks. Nicole headed back to her room and suddenly realized that she could not get back into her bed. Of course Gary was following her back to her room and promptly put her back into bed.

So needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night just because I was terrified that she was going to come running out of her room at any second and into mine. That is how it started with Aimee, she would run into our room in the middle of the night when she woke up and stare right at me. Freaked me out so we gated her into her room. It can be argued that it isn't safe to do so, but it gave me a little peace of mind.

With Nicole though, I didn't hear a creak, thud or squeak as she got out of bed. She just ran down the hall looking for her baby's bottle like it was nothing. I think I have a future ninja on my hands. Luckily last week I had the premonition that she was nearing this accomplishment because she was putting her foot up on the rails while waiting for me to get her out of bed each morning. So I spent some time making sure that every outlet was covered, every piece of furniture was securely attached to the walls and that all extra items were tucked away and locked behind the closet door. She went down tonight without incident but I know when she figures out she can get out of her crib easily that is it and big girl bed here we come. Can she really be that old?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Update from the sleep trenches

Ah, elusive sleep. How I have missed you. I am happy to report that Nicole slept through the ENTIRE night last night right until 6AM this morning without incident. I was heaven. Aimee on the other hand woke up at about 12AM calling for me. However, Gary and I have made a pact that he is to do the middle of the night wake ups from now on because the kids sense I am a marshmallow and will cave but that Gary means business and will not bend. So he went in and told Aimee to go back to sleep, that she was okay and that he would see her in the morning. Worked like a charm. So I was actually able to stay in bed all night long. A girl could get used to this.

And in case you thought I forgot about my quest to lose weight, I have to confess that I fell off the wagon for a few weeks. I missed one meeting, then one turned into two and two into three. But I went back this past week and have been doing great ever since. The dog has never been so in shape with our walks around the neighborhood. I have decided that while I do love to take the girls for walks that this is my time. I hardly take time for myself anymore so when I get a chance to walk without them, I take it. Typically it is only on Saturday and Sunday or the random work at home day. But I am back on track now, I won't post my latest gain from WW because I honestly didn't look at it, but rest assured it was a gain based on the reaction from the receptionist person that weighed me in...sigh. Halloween is my downfall and now that I have two trick or treaters it was doubly hard this year. So now, onward and downward.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Have You Met Lady Luck?

So I just found out that I won a pay it forward contest on McCashew's blog (link to left since I still can't figure out that whole link in a little word thing..someone comment and tell me how to do it or e-mail me or something). How exciting is that? All just by having to tell what my most memorable Halloween costume was. I can remember it so clearly. I was 4, going to nursery school (the same one Aimee attends) and my mother put my hair in rag curls (does anyone even do those any more?) the night before with my grandmother. Then in the morning, she put on my dress that was probably more like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz than Raggedy Ann, but the closest we had. She then painted my nose red and some of those little black marks above and below my eyes and there I was, Raggedy Ann. Unfortunately, as soon as the finishing touches were put onto my outfit, I burst into tears and decided I didn't want to go to school looking like that. I am sure I crushed my mother with it, but being the mom that she is, she just said to stop crying, I looked lovely and another tear would ruin my makeup. So off I went. I will go to her house tomorrow and see if I can find the picture of me in my get up. She really did a great job.

Anyway, the point of this trip down memory lane is to tell you all that I WON! I was picked at random to be the winner of a Pay it forward contest. I am so excited. So stay tuned here because I will be paying it forward so all of you lurkers out there will have to comment so that I can put you in the running. I will start when I come up with a fun item to comment on and after I receive my package which I need supply my home address to McCashew first to receive it.

And another reason I feel like I have luck on my side is because I was doing a good deed today of delivering a meal I prepared for someone that just had a baby in my Women's Club. She lives way out of my average driving distances into the middle of no where, coincidentally near where I lived briefly when Gary and I first got married, so I was not happy about having to drive this far to deliver the meal I had put together. But, on the way to her house, I came across gas for an insanely low amount of money. Are you ready for this...hold on to your hats....$2.19 per gallon. I think I was paying more than that 4 years ago when I got married. I was so excited, I dropped off my meal and promptly came back to this station and filled up for under $40 for my enormous car.

It's all coming together Terri these days people.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Home working

Yep, I decided that with the rain, my youngest daughter's inability to sleep through the night and the general blah ness that I feel today that I should work from home. I really think that working from home gets a bum rap. I love to work at home and I actally get 100 times more work done at home than when I am in the office. Since I am at 24 hours per week and lately I have had a lot of work outside the office at my different project sites that it has been quite a while since my butt has been inside the office walls. But honestly with the rainy day traffic to and from work adding another 3 hours onto my day how can working from home not be more productive. Even more so when the girls are at their regularly scheduled daycare day. Well, Aimee had nursery school first but then she gets picked up by her Daddy and he takes her to daycare where she meets up with Nicole.

So being home working and since it is technically my lunch hour of 12 o'clock I posted to keep going on this every day post thing.

Sleeping last night went better, Nicole slept until 3:15 AM and then I went into see her, changed her messy diaper and had hopes for a quick return to slumber. Didn't happen until almost 5:30 at which point I decided to let her cry it out and in 5 minutes she stopped and slept until almost 7:30. She was cranky this morning though from those few hours of lost sleep. Then again, so is her mama.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Lost a day

I am really trying to post everyday, but I just don't always have the energy to do it at night when I finally have the time. Yesterday was a long day. It started at 5:30 when Nicole decided that it would be fun to be up at that time. So on Tuesdays we take Aimee to nursery school and yesterday we also had to do two errands while Aimee was at school, vote and hit a toy store. So we dropped Aimee off, picked up my parents and took them to vote (they came so that we could take turns going in and not having to bring Nicole in since we heard horror stories about waiting in line...turned out to be untrue at our location) and then headed to the toy store. The local toy store from us was having a fund raiser for Aimee's school where if you bought toys and stated your affiliation with her school the school in turn got 20% of the proceeds of your sale. Apparently it is their biggest fundraiser and gift certificates even counted toward the totals. Bonus. So I picked up some Christmas presents for the girls and my nieces and they even gift wrapped them. This is the first time that I have even thought about shopping before Thanksgiving let alone be wrapped! Bonus.

Nicole however, fell alseep in the car while I went into the toy store while she was out in the car with her Papa so her nap was from 9:30 to 11:30 in her car seat. So our afternoon nap was taken quite early in the day. Then we picked Aimee up, hit Daddy's work to say hello, made a trip to Trader Joe's for some staple items including stickers and balloons and then went home to play in the yard. We also had a make up lesson for ballet so we were out again from 4-5. So needless to say by the time we got home everyone was exhausted including me since no nap equals no downtime for mom.

Our latest development in the battle of the sleep deprived is that Nicole has suddenly figured out how to put her foot up on the rail of the crib. I thought I had a few more months before I had to start worrying about her getting out of her crib. Apparently not. So we don't like to put her in there upset lest she tries to swan dive out of her crib like her big sister did. We already have sleep issues with Nicole, I can only imagine how awful it will be to deal with her in a big girl bed. I am seriously considering a crib tent. Anyone ever used one? Maybe it is the sleep deprivation talking. Aimee actually sleeps great lately -- it's Nicole that has been having issues. Unfortunately our solution was to bring her into bed with us and since last night Gary got a few toes in his face throughout the night, that must come to an end. So tonight is our test night. We are going to do some tough love with some good padding on the floor lest she tries her acrobats and hopefully she will sleep through the night. Wish us luck!

Monday, November 3, 2008

I said no

We are not doing so well with the whole daylight savings time ending. At first thought I figured that we would just be getting up earlier in the day and eventually adjusting. But now that it has been two nights worth of going to bed with the new time, I think I am realizing that Nicole just doesn't like to go to bed at night. Aimee I think is just so tired now that she doesn't nap during the day that she literally passes out when she hits the pillow. Nicole on the other hand has started to object naps and has figured out how to put her foot up to the top of the rail on her crib. Oh joy, another child in a real bed before 2 years old. But this morning when she greeted us with a 5AM wake up call, we did what any other sane parent would do and brought her into bed with us in hopes that she would allow us a few more winks. Unfortunately, there was no interest in her part of going back to bed. So I asked her if she needed a bum change (aka diaper change in our house) and she said...no. So I asked again and she again said no. Then I decided to get creative and I asked her "what did you say???" To which she answered, in the dark still no less..."I said no." Can't argue with that logic can you?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Post Everyday

Well, according McCashew over there on the right (I can't figure out how to link you here in my text, sorry) I suppose I missed the first day of November for the NaBloPoMo - National Blog Post Month, but I will make up for it and try to post each remaining day for November.

We had a full weekend here with the family. It was very busy but very fun. Friday we had a low keyed morning by walking across the yard and having breakfast with Nana and Papa. We came home, played in the yard for a while then retired to the house so Nicole could have a nap and Aimee a rest. Then daddy came home and we gathered up our stuff to head over to Gary's sister's house where his parents live in an in-law suite to get ready for the evening festivities. I must say that I love them all living together, makes for a great visit each time we come over.

Anyway, we got pizzas for supper and gathered the kids together to walk the neighborhood to trick or treat. Among our trick or treaters was a witch, Tinkerbell, a mouse and a duck. I had a great scheme for Aimee and Nicole to have a "theme" for their outfits with Cinderella and Gus Gus but after wearing her Cinderella costume to dancing lessons, a Halloween open house at the Norwell Fire Department, Nursery School, daycare and to show various people, Aimee decided that she didn't want to be Cinderella any more and we had a quick last minute change to Tinkerbell which was really cute too. Though it left my mouse out in the cold alone, but still very cute.

This was a great year for us even though both girls didn't quite understand it fully but more than willing to walk around putting things into a bag, especially edible things. Nicole loved it though she didn't move as fast as the older girls. So Aimee went ahead with her Auntie Shelly and older cousin while I stayed behind with Gary, Nicole, my mother in law and our other niece Ella (the cutest duck I have ever seen). They were priceless together. Not quite getting the point fully but walking around looking cute as can be in their costumes putting their candy into their bags. At one house, Nicole threw an all out fit because the homeowner only gave one piece of candy to her bag where as the few before had given a few pieces to the cause. Smart girl I suppose, although quite embarrassing to have your mouse flat out on someone's walk playing the limp kid card on me. We decided that was our last house for these two and my mother in law took them back to the house. We caught up with Aimee and her Auntie who did their last visit for treats when Aimee looked up at her Auntie and said, "all done Shelly", thus ending our 2008 trick or treating.

It was exciting and I could almost hear the disappointment in Aimee's voice when putting her to bed that night when I told her that the next Halloween is a year away. It's hard to explain seasonal things to her like why Santa doesn't come for another two months or how come Storyland isn't open in the winter. She gets a lot of things but I am sure the seasonal things are tough to grasp. In any event, I am sure the memories of this Halloween will last forever for her. I know they will for me.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Happy Halloween

I don't think I ever really got too excited for Halloween. I mean of course everyone loves a holiday where they get to eat a ton of candy. But overall I am not a huge fan of dressing up into something else and pretending to be something I am not. This year has been different for me. I think it must be because the girls are so into it this year. We carved our pumpkin and Nicole not really understanding it fully just keeps saying "Happy Birthday Pumpkin" so obviously she gets the whole candle in the pumpkin idea. But every night that we light it we need to sing happy birthday to the pumpkin and blow out the candle.

I also think this year is different because the girls have gotten to wear their costumes around a few times already. Last weekend we went to the open house at the Norwell Fire Headquarters. There was pizza, juice, apparatus on display and of course a special appearance by Fire Pup, a rather tall Dalmatian type of costumed individual that the girls really liked. But my Cinderella (Aimee) and her trusty mouse Gus Gus (Nicole) came decked out to the open house. We saw some really great costumes while we were there. Scooby doo made an appearance as did many Sesame Street characters. I think that they even had some potential new recruits on their hands at the station with all the kids that dressed up as firefighters.

But hands down, my favorite Halloween moment so far has been this morning at Aimee's school. Her class puts on their costumes and then does a little parade around the school to show them off. Forget the parade, I was so excited just seeing these little kids coming in to school in their costumes. The funniest by far being the 3 year old decked out entirely in SWAT team apparel complete with helmet and shield and his vest. I cracked up. There were also the requisite other princesses on the block such as Jasmine and Ariel to go with Aimee's Cinderella. But the SWAT team child really made my day. He looked so cute in it and you could just tell he loved his costume.

It's funny because when I was trying to get pregnant and had my eyes on the prize of having a baby I don't think I ever really thought too much about this stage of the game. Aimee and Nicole are at such great ages. They can fight terrible and can be very fresh, but it is so much fun to see them getting into things like role-playing in costumes or even with their dolls. I have liked most all of the stages my kids have been in. It was great having a new baby and snuggling in with them, but the sleep deprivation and absolute craziness of it all at first is overwhelming. It was also great seeing them walk, but the reality of walking is climbing and that is terrifying to see your kid halfway up the couch ready to jump off onto the hardwood floor without a care in the world.

But this, the conversations and realizations that these little people are mine has been amazing. They have full talks with me about things like swimming lessons and why they jumped in the pool last week but didn't want to jump in this week. Or why it is of the utmost importance that we wear the Ariel swimsuit this week but last week it had to be the striped one.

So tomorrow night we are pairing up with my sister in law and her daughters for a trick or treating outing in her neighborhood for what I hope will be a tradition that continues for many years to come. I wish you all a wonderful Halloween and don't forget to turn the clocks back on Saturday night just to get another hour of sleep. Unless you have my kids which just means we will be up one hour earlier than the rest of the world.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Wake up calls

We are in a never ending transition so it seems here with middle of the night wake up calls from our girls. I did a little Googling over my lunch hour to find out that in Nicole it is probably just part of separation anxiety that happens between 18 and 24 months. The fix, basically to get up each time she calls for me and reassure her that I am nearby and she is okay. But the article I read cautions not to spend too much time in there or else it will create a night time wake up habit. Well just great because I think we are already there despite my efforts to only do minimal calming and interaction in the middle of the night.

For Aimee, her middle of the night wake ups are quite similar in that she calls for me and I go in and try to reason with her that she too is okay, I am right across the hall in my own bed and can come back at a moment’s notice. Again the article cautions not to say too much or give in too much because it will create more bad habits of waking, but that I can’t get upset with her for waking up because that too could also cause emotional harm and create an environment where she is not comfortable sharing.

Are you freaking kidding me? Who in the world is happy after being constantly woken up night after night weeks on end? So these people in the articles are telling me that how I react in the middle of the night is not only causing further wake ups but if I do not handle said wake ups appropriately then I am possibly doing further harm to my child? Fabulous. Like I need more guilt in my half-arsed, part time whatever I do life of mine.

And lest you think that my dear husband is not doing his fair share in all of this, rest assured he does attempt to comfort whatever seems to be the crisis of the moment. However, both children react with loving shrieks of discontent when they see Daddy in the doorway when they have so clearly indicated from their high range cries that it is indeed Mommy whom they are seeking. Sigh.

Stay tuned, if I get some sleep perhaps I can write a better post!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Stitch Witchery

Sounds like it's something for Halloween doesn't it? But no, for $1.97 this stuff has changed my life in the past few weeks. As many of you may know, my youngest daughter is little bitty. We have done our best to add some weight to her but she isn't a huge eater and despite having a huge sweet tooth I can't in good conscious let her eat candy corn all day just to put weight on her. But my dilemma has been that in this economy I want to re-use some of Aimee's clothes not only for money saving measure but because some of it was just so darn cute. Even though they were born in completely different seasons, Nicole is about 6 months behind Aimee size wise at the same age so it has come together nicely. If only this stuff would fit her properly. Thus enters the Stitch Witchery. This stuff is iron on that you can put a hem on the inside of the pants and arms and then when the child grows tall enough to actually fit into the pants, you can lower the hems. And not a bit of actual sewing occurs.

It is available in the sewing section of Walmart and with just a hot iron to the "wool" setting and a damp cloth above, the pants are suddenly shorter, the sleeves are suddenly shorter and a new outfit emerges. It's been fantastic and I am extending the wardrobe. I even used it this morning on a pair of pants for Aimee. Because clothing makers try to fit as many kids into one size as possible with adjustable waist pants, the size 3T fit her great in the hips, thigh and waist but the length make her look like she is forever wearing Capri's. So we moved into the 4T but the length are just a bit too long right now. I feel so domestic lately with my stitch witchery. I may even have to try it myself when I am down a size in pants because God knows that whoever is making clothes for women these days seems to think we have all grown 5 inches since everything I own seems to need a hem. When I do get to invest in new pants, I will have a quick easy way to hem them.

Which brings me nicely to my other news. I made it to WW on Tuesday and was indeed down 1/2 lb. My total after all the yo-yoing is 12 lbs since I started back in early Sept. or late August, I can't remember when without my little book in front of me. Still not the progress I would like to see but it is still in the downward direction and I even took the dog for a walk last night after Gary got home from work and dinner was in the oven.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Slowing down

I realize I have been neglecting the few readers that I have and for that I am sorry. But I have been taking it slow lately. I was starting to feel like I was stretched so thin that I couldn't possibly fit one more thing in. Then I took a moment and thought one day ... what am I rushing to? Preschool? It's not like Aimee is going to get marked down for being late. I don't think they start that until high school. Am I rushing to work? Probably but really, I have flexible work hours so what is the point with pushing myself to get there faster by rushing out of the house in the mornings.

So now I try to make an effort to be on time as I normally do, but not in such a way that I put so much pressure on myself to make it happen. As a result I have actually been on time more, have felt more relaxed and the kids are happier. I know I was trying to rush them out of the house to be on time for whatever activity we do be it playgroup, dancing lessons or swimming. And really, what is the point of doing these extra curricular things if the stress to get there ruins it all?

So I have slowed down. I fit in what I can and what I can't fit in, I try not to stress about. I went back to fundamentals. Each morning I make two lists. The first list is all of the items that I want to do that day. The next list puts them in priority of what HAS to get done down to what I would LIKE to get done and lastly what can probably slide to tomorrow.

You know what else has been helped by slowing down? My eating habits. My efforts on WW was stalled for two weeks because with the stress of trying to fit in everything with our new fall schedule I realized that I am a stress eater. I will push things into my face as fast as I can without really tasting them. So by slowing down, I have made sure that I will enjoy what I am eating and I sit far away from the refrigerator and cupboards so that if I truly do want something else to eat I have to get up off my butt and get it. So far so good. I forget where I was at last post for efforts to date, but as of my weigh in last week I was down another 2 lb after having gained 1/2 and 3/4 for two weeks in a row. So tomorrow night is my meeting night and hopefully I will have "edit blog" high enough in my list of to do's to report back how I did.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Falling leaves

There has been something about this fall that I haven't quite come to accept that summer is officially over. I know that it's Labor Day that seems to signify the end of summer, but I am still not ready for near freezing morning temperatures. Brrrr.... It has also brought a bit of a struggle with dressing. Not me, mind you but my strong willed 3 year old. She is really holding onto summer by way of her skirts sans tights and flip flops. We struggle every day with putting on real shoes and *gasp* socks. It's like I am torturing her to put them on. Nicole is no better come to think of it. Though to her it's all about her sudden hate of pants. Pants you say? Yes, pants. She seems to not want to have anything to do with pants and will arch, kick and scream when they are put on. It has gotten to the point where I don't even bother taking her out of her sleeper pjs until we are ready to leave the house just because of this fight.

But today was swimming lessons for Aimee and even that was a fight with her. She assumes that since she is supposed to wear her bathing suit that it's justified she wears her flip flops. I have even gone so far as buy the sherpa fleece crocs in hope of persuading her to wear something other than flip flops. It's a mixed thing really because crocs are banned at school. Yes, you read that right...banned. She has to wear either sneakers or other shoes with a good rubber sole and some sort of tie or strap. No open toe or open back shoes. I can obviously understand it. Aimee is the one having a hard time with it.

Speaking of which, nursery school is going great. She is loving her time there. It's so sweet for me to take her in and help her wash her hands, take off her coat and hang her backpack before she reaches for a kiss and a hug. I don't quite remember all of my time there when I was a student about 30 years ago, but much of the building is still the same and it's endearing that she is going to the same nursery school I went to. Not so endearing is the fact that I have to tease Nicole with the drop off. She is ready to whip off her coat, wash her hands and start right in on nursery school with Aimee. I feel so bad for her because she sees the great stuff in the classroom but then has to leave a few short minutes after getting in there. It's like she is thinking..."hey, we go to daycare together, why not here?" I try to make our time together while Aimee is in school special, but the little cutie walks around the house calling "Aimee?" and I remind her that Aimee is in school. There is something distinctly different about the second child, aside from the obvious birth order. It's like the innocence of experiencing things is lost a little bit because the older sibling is there showing how it's done, for good or bad.

I can't even express what an amazing time I am having with them and I keep thinking towards the future and thinking how lucky they are to have a sister, something I never had. There are some days I want to tear my hair out over the constant questions that I run out of answers for or the temper tantrums that involve throwing themselves on the floor. But I think knowing these pieces of their personality is precious and it is all just going so fast, just like the season and the leaves of fall.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Oh Hello...it's been a while

Haven't seen you in these parts here for a little while, but I have been expecting you. After all it is back to school season and germs abound to help you out. Not sure if you were just going to stop by or stay for a bit. Luckily one little dose of motrin was all that was needed to take you from 102.8 down to 99. Hopefully it was just teeth and you can go visit another family. Now if you can stay away at least until Christmas I would be happy.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Forecast....rain

So apparently children seem to know when a storm is coming. Kids and dogs are good barometers so who needs the weather man on channel 5? So far in the past two days we have gotten soaked three times, had countless meltdowns and many bossy moments from both girls towards the other. I have had fights over who will sit on my lap, help me open the door and who is going to help me load the dishwasher. At the moment I have a spare second to type because they are blissfully watching some TV together in my room, on my bed....a forbidden thing to do. Not that I am upset by them on my bed, but they have each fell off the bed numerous times from jumping that they are no longer allowed on it.

We tried a trip to the mall today to try and get out for a few minutes and see something other than ourselves for a bit. That was a mistake. Not only was everyone else seemingly trying to do the same thing, but the early departure from the mall because Gary and I couldn't take the people there anymore forced more meltdowns finally coming to a climax when we got stuck in a random downpour on our way out to the car. Aimee hates to be wet so that included a whiny ride home from her the whole 5 minutes it takes to get from the mall to the house.

And I am being beckoned again from the whiny twins about who did what. I think I need a black and white striped shirt for my referee gig here.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Random Happenings

A few things came to my attention in the past few days and I just had to share them with you. They have no order and are rather random but made me stop in my tracks when they happened.

First would be the fact that on Monday I was not feeling so hot leaving work and on the way home had chills, could hardly keep my eyes open and a few times wondered if I was going to heave in the car. I made it home all the while praying that I could just get in the door. I figured Gary could handle the girls and I would be able to hightail it to bed. But, when I walked in the door, Gary looked worse than I felt and suddenly it was like a switch went off and I had to suppress my own illness so that I could care for the girls, finish up the evening with pajamas, teeth brushing and stories for bed. Gary in the meantime lost his lunch and from the sounds of it his toes in the other bathroom while I was helping the girls brush their teeth. So he does win hands down of being the sicker of the two of us. My lunch though not quite agreeing with me did stay down. But it still amazes me that despite feeling like crap myself I was able to push through it and get the girls to bed, which, with my kids is no small feat. The two of them are the worst when it comes to going to bed at night, but that is another post entirely. I even had it in me to clean up the kitchen from the supper Gary somehow managed to prepare, took a walk next door to get some Gatorade from my parents for Gary in his weakened state (though they stayed clear of me whilst in their presence out of fear of germ passing). Luckily the girls did not get this random bug, or maybe they did and just didn't affect them as much as it did us.

Anyway, my random musing with this one is that I think women have an inherent ability to put children and family first before themselves. It is an amazing trait, truly. But I wonder how bitter it makes some of us. I know for me, I have a list in my head of things I do that Gary doesn't. Does he have the same list? Probably not. Most of my list consists of chores, others are clothes buying or replacing staple items in the house. I don't get bitter about it regularly, but today for instance, I am bitter about it all because of one simple comment my husband made to me as he was sitting on the couch watching the morning news (he does drop off to daycare and preschool on Thursdays and can't leave until almost 8AM to do it or he will be early to preschool)...."why does it take you so long to get out of the house?" I think it seemed innocent enough, but when I took a moment to look at him while I was in the midst of picking up random toys on my way out the door, it was all I could do not to list off the things I did that morning or even the night before so that things would be easier in the morning. Instead I sighed an "I don't know" and gathered up my stuff to leave. I really don't know why I take it upon myself to make sure the kitchen is cleaned, toys put away, beds made and the dog watered before I leave. I should just get up at 5AM and head out to work right? There is a gym and locker room at work to shower, I should just do it. But yet I don't. Mother guilt? Possibly. I think it is more that I love to see the girls in the morning all rumply and sleepy ready to give me a big hug.

The next random thing is something I noticed this morning and it was a biker, not motorcycle rider, but an actual pedal biker getting a ticket. Now I am all for riding your bikes, but I can't tell you how many times I have been cut off by a biker around these Cambridge parts when I come into work. I know we all share the road and they have more right to be there since they don't technically pay for the privilege to ride on the road like motorists do, but I was secretly elated that this gentleman got a ticket. More so because another bicyclist, a cop on a bike, was the one writing the ticket. How funny is that? Again, nothing against bikers per se, I know there are plenty out there that follow the rules of the road to a tee. But for some reason here in Cambridge I come across the worst bike riders. Many times when I have a green light they are trying to eek across the crosswalk. Once I even stopped for one of these bikers quite scared that I may hit him and let him go across in front of me and he shook his head in disgust at me for letting him go. Apparently he knew no one was behind me (hindsight on my part) and was balancing on his bike with both feet on the pedals on the double yellow line waiting for me to pass so he could finish crossing the street and by my stopping it forced him to change his plan and he got all upset with me. I was concerned he would lose his balance and fall, thus me hitting him with my tank of a car. I guess getting an angry finger signal is far better than hitting him, but it irks me still.

Last random musing here is about preschool. I love that Aimee is going to preschool. In fact, she is going to the same one I went to as a kid, talk about memories. But many of the parents at school remind me of exactly why I wasn't a cool kid in school. I didn't join in everything. I wasn't overly popular. People liked me enough, I did my thing, I wasn't trying to be the rebel all in black at the back of the class pissed off at the word. But I also didn't try to please all the "in" crowd just to stay above their radar. And yet, here I am with all of these mothers who at 9AM in the morning look like they are ready to step foot in a nightclub with their get ups. I see tight jeans with flares, pointed toe boots with heels, more makeup than I could ever own and cars that make mine look small. These are the same mothers that roll their eyes because the director of the school has said over and over again, "playground appropriate attire and footwear at school please." I get it. Aimee goes in her cute consignment sale pants and jeans with her Velcro stride rites and looks cute as a button to me. They want the kids to be comfortable, to be able to get messy, have fun and be safe with good shoes while they climb the slide or run around outside. These mothers want to dress them in skirts, dresses, tights and clogs. Cute outfits, no question, but it is preschool!

I have noticed that some of the mothers have a little clique because they know each other from last year since the school has the option of kids starting at 2.9 years in a playgroup two days a week. I have tried to be nice and interact with these ladies and will continue to do so but it just reminds me of the fact that some people just never grow up in life. One mother actually looked horrified that I (*gasp*!) worked. She noticed I didn't drop Aimee off on Thursdays and I said, that I worked and she looked so surprised. To her credit, she did a good job covering it by asking, where do I have to commute and when I answered Cambridge at least the surprise could stay on her face.

No, I am not a trophy wife, yes, I have to work to keep us in the lap of luxury called insurance and yes my husband is self employed. I am eternally grateful I only have to work 24 hours. It gives me enough time to be my own person outside of kids while allowing me to be home too.

So those are the random thoughts in my head today. For those of you on the edge of your seats, I did lose 4 lbs this week at WW. I don't know how other than the random sickness but I am thinking that 4 lbs in a day would be strange since I got sick Monday afternoon and weighed in Tuesday night. But I will take it. Down 8 lbs total since I started back in late August. No where near my goal but like I learned from my children...baby steps.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

And so it goes....

Another weekend gone by and all I have to show for it is a sense of total exhaustion. Our Fridays have become very jam packed lately. It's crazy. This past weekend was a consignment sale that I have come to love. It is a bi-annual sale held in the spring and the fall where I get to shop for many additions to the girls' wardrobe. This past weekend was the sale. The pre-sale is Friday tonight and is for consignors and volunteers only. So I typically try to consign a few items to offset the dough I spend there. I also have started volunteering on Saturday evening to help cleanup and tend to get a few steals there since a lot of stuff is 1/2 off at that point. I have even been known to take some brand new things home with me. I love it. I got quite a few things for the girls. My favorite being a lavender colored jacket and snow pants for Nicole from LLBean for $18. Now you know that if I decide I don't like this outfit I can send it back to LLBean and get it replaced FOR FREE. Not that I will though because I love it, but LLBean has the best customer service on the planet. Everyone is so happy and friendly when you talk to them. They must be in cahoots with Trader Joe's.

So this past Friday, we started out early as I had a doctor appointment at 10:30 so we took our Papa with us and armed with snacks I left the girls and Papa in the car while I went into the DR. About 45 minutes later I emerged with a clean bill of health for another year. I also arrived to three people having a great time in the car listening to music and playing various games. The girls so love their Papa. We then headed grocery shopping for Papa to visit his favorite grocery store, a little place called Roxies. The man walks out of this little hole in the wall with the best of produce and meats for under $40 ready to feed a small army. They were celebrating their 50th anniversary (obviously they are doing something right) this week and they had some wonderful sales on local produce, seafood and dairy items. He had a blast; partially from the great deals he got but more so from his shopping partner, Nicole who whips things over her shoulder into his carriage whether he wants them or not. Suffice to say if he tries to stop her from taking certain items he may not want in his cart, a smallish tantrum comes about wherein her favorite doll is thrown to the floor. So it was his best judgement to keep her happy and unload unwanted items to the checkout lady.

We left Roxies and dropped Papa off to his DR appointment where Nana was going to pick him up. From there we headed home for quick naps (the girls, not me, unfortunately) and then Nana came from Papa's DR appointment and to our house so that she could stay with Nicole while I took Aimee to her first Ballet/tap lesson. I took these lessons when I was Aimee's age. In fact I can still remember being a munchkin in my first recital. I also remember one girl's mother watching us in a rehearsal and crying at the end of it. At the time it struck me as odd because in my short life at the time, crying for me was when I was unhappy and this mother was trying to tell her daughter how happy she was and that in fact was the reason behind her tears. I gave a big shrug and never thought of it again until this past Friday. The lessons started last week but we were not able to start with the rest of the class. So this week the teacher let me look on as Aimee did her thing with her classmates and one of her new friends took her hand to lead her across the floor, I had to wipe a tear away from my eye. It is amazing to me how life comes full circle and goes around. Aimee of course loved her lessons and even learned her right from her left or as the teacher told her (Lenny and Ralph...ingenious).

So after we left our ballet lessons for the day, we went home, changed her out of her leotard and tights and got Nicole, Nana and Papa together again and off we went to the consignment presale. Gary was at a networking event that he didn't want to miss, thus the 5 of us trotting around together in the Yukon. So, Nana (mom) and I went into the sale and were a bit overwhelmed by all of the people in there but were able to score some good fall clothes for the girls as well as aforementioned snow suit and some snow boots. For about $100 I easily picked up a load of clothes that would have cost 3 times that. When we came out of the sale, I saw that Papa, Aimee and Nicole were having a rousing game of wake up! go to sleep! Apparently for the uninformed such as myself, this game consisted of Aimee pushing the button to turn the light on and she would say "good morning!" and then after a few pleasantries were exchanged among them of previous night's slumber, etc. it would then be time for her to push the button again and make it dark thus, "good night" and they would all start to snore. Apparently this went on for some time, never boring the participants in the least.

Saturday was a low key day. We took the girls to a restaurant in Plymouth called Plane Janes which is at the municipal airport and they watched planes come and go as we ate breakfast. Then we headed to Toys R Us for a bit to pick up birthday presents for our nieces. We came home, played in the yard and then I went back to the consignment sale with my mom to help break down where we organize the unsold items back to the consigners and put together the items that people decided to donate. After almost 4 hours of this work, we decided we had put in our volunteer time and took off.

Today I washed and dried all the clothes I bought from the sale, went to the mall to pick up cards to go with above mentioned birthday presents and came home to finish putting it all away while the girls napped. Then we headed out to the birthday party where the girls had a fantastic time.

So now it is late on Sunday night, I have all of our lunches packed for tomorrow and a lot of work to do when I get into the office tomorrow. So I hope you all had great weekends and enjoyed this last day of summer. Here is the fall!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Serious Attitudes

I have noticed lately that people seem to have a total sense of entitlement. I mean it is even with simple things like waiting at a red light. Back in the days of drivers education I learned that red means stop, not go. You come to a red light, you stop. Heck, you come to a yellow light you are supposed to stop but I have been known to step on it a tad just to get through it, so I am not casting stones on that one. But yesterday I was going to a friends house with the girls and while waiting at a light the person directly across from me decided that she had waited long enough and since no one was coming the other way that it would be okay to just go through the red light. Admittedly she did it with ease and no adverse effects were seen, but come on. Are we too busy with life that we can't even wait to follow the law of stopping for a red light?

I wish I could say that it was only affecting (or is it effecting? I never was good with this particular point in grammar) place that I see these attitudes. I also seem to see them in grocery stores. Hello? Grocery stores. Yes, the friendly grocer down the way also known as Stop and Shop. The other day I lined up all of my groceries from my sports car shopping cart that my girls were ferociously driving and the checker who was all of about 16 stopped the manager on his way past and said (true story here...) can I take my break now? Um, I just unloaded about $150 worth of groceries and you are honestly asking if you can just walk away before you start running it through that little beeper thing where it reads the barcodes? The manager looked at him, then at me and shrugged his shoulders and said, "when Shelly gets back." I mean really, if the manager had said yes I would have been left there with this kid not caring at all just so long as he got his break. And can I take this moment to say that I have worked a few jobs in my day and I can't remember getting a break with any of them. So, then when I remarked that he didn't credit me for my 6 green bags that I brought in, he carelessly said, "oh, do you want me to just give you the 30 cents?" I realize that to this little snot that 30 cents isn't a lot of money and okay I will admit that I have more than that rolling around in the ashtray of my car, but for goodness sake, what is up? It is the store's policy that if you bring in any reusable bag, you get a credit of 5 cents per bag. I am not making it up, your employer is, give me my damn money for hauling two kids and 6 green bags in with me. Sheesh.

I wish I could afford to buy all of my groceries at Trader Joe's. They have THE NICEST people working there. I wonder if they make them take a test prior to being hired wherein they list the adverse conditions they could possibly face during the day and how they would handle them because the crew they have in there have the right attitude. Both of my kids get stickers and balloons in Trader Joe's and as a mother, anyone who helps me out or shows the slightest kindness to me or the kids while I am shopping gets a thumbs up in my book.

I also wish that I could tell you that it is only complete strangers giving me attitude lately but sadly it has followed me home by way of my own three year old. Yes, we have serious attitude going on right now and simple questions I ask of her like "why did you take every single book out of your bookcase?" is met with the "Because I wanted to." Can't argue with that can you? I was very upset with Aimee the other day because she decided it would be a good idea to take her sister's heels and drag her by them off of my bed. So when I heard a big thud and a loud scream as I was just feet away in my bathroom I asked her "what did you do?" To which she looked me straight in the eye while still holding her sister's heels and said "nufing" (preschooler speak for nothing if you didn't get it). So I proceeded to tell her, we don't do that to Nicole, she can get very hurt by that. And I swear to God, Aimee looked at me and with a bit of a glare said "don't tell me what to do." Three years old people. Three. I thought I had at least until teen years to hear those words come out of her mouth. Suffice to say that was a bad day leaving Aimee in her room more times than she was out.

Of course the good days are also just as prevalent as the bad ones where she is my little side kick and helps me whenever I ask. But it's the days like above that I describe where you wonder, what have I gotten myself into and how am I going to make it? I now have no preconceived notion or discontempt for how others mother. If you need to scream at your child in the middle of the frozen food aisle to get them back into your shopping cart so you can just get the rest of your grocerys, get out of the store and strap them back into their car seats for a few minutes of sanity, I let you be and make no judgement. Because typically this episode is probably not the first of the day for that child but most likely one of the many of the day.

In other news, preschool has been off to a great start and Aimee loves it. I feel a bit sad for Nicole though. Aimee is at a new school, taking swimming lessons and just signed up for ballet/tap class and then there is poor Nicole just waiting in the wings. I don't really know if I should sign her up for a music class with me or something but I feel as though she has been watching Aimee do all of these fun things and I should do something with her, I just need to figure out where I can fit in that one little tidbit in our days. Stay tuned for what I decide to do.

Also for those of you on the edge of your seats, another 1-1/4 pounds lost in WW for a total of about 4 I think. I used to be able to lose that much in a week and now it has taken me a month. What gives? Whatever, at least I haven't gained 4 pounds on it, as I have done that in the past in my first weeks as well.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Back to school

Oh the busy life of a part time everything. It seems that the end of the summer and beginning of the school year always brings about new schedules. Even when I was not in school I found that I would have to change my own schedule for things like commute to work, time at the grocery store, etc. etc. when the start of school began. The commute to work is totally different. I used to be able to leave the house by 7:30 and get to work by 8:30 but now, forget it I won't get there until almost 9:30 so I need to leave by 7 at the latest. The grocery store is just off limits on Sundays with the deli line wrapped around the produce section by other mothers buying the contents of the kids lunches.

I actually took the T to work on Monday. Gary had to have his car fixed and instead of wasting money on a rental car we decided we could manage with one car for a few days. So Gary and the girls dropped me off at the choo-choo in Braintree and I took the mass transit to work. I hate to admit that I rather enjoyed it. I was able to read a book without falling asleep and without someone taking my book mark. I forgot how many books I used to read. I also got to work in record time, though I am not naive enough to think that this happens everyday. I am not that far removed from the T that I think it is always the fastest option. There have been plenty of days when it takes twice as long on the train. I also realized how much walking I used to get in when I took the train.

The first 6 years that I worked in Cambridge I took the train to work everyday. Then I got a spot in the work garage when I was getting my masters at Tufts and with the late nights and logistics of getting to and from work and school all at the same time, having a car just made sense. Now with the girls it is fastest to get home when I need to by car. But I am also just sitting on my ass the entire ride into work in the car with the only steps from my house to the car door and from the car door to the office door. But by train, I had to walk up all the steps to the train door at Braintree and then again at Kendall Square. Then walk another 15 minutes to the office. It was actually an invigorating way to start the day. Granted I was sweating and panted at my desk for a good 10 minutes after I sat down.

In other news, Aimee started preschool on Tuesday. They gave us 10 minute intervals for us to go in and see her classroom. It was set up so that we could overlap with the child before us and after us. So we met a little boy named Griffin and a little girl named Ava. Griffin was pretty excited about going to preschool but Ava was preoccupied making sure that her mother was not going to leave her. I stepped out of the classroom for a minute and Aimee never even blinked an eye at me. I think she will be fine going for a few hours without me seeing as how it took a lot of arm twisting to get her out of there. I did tell her that she should be sure to talk to Ava because she will be missing her mommy the first day. So we'll see how it goes again tomorrow. I will drop her off and Gary will pick her up. They have a nice little one way mirror that I can look at her without her seeing that I am looking forward to using. And a little shout out to my husband with this whole school/kid thing.

We had a parent night last week for her pre-school (where I saw an old crush from high school, who's daughter is going to the same school but a different class) and there was definately way more moms there than dads. I am sure that some of the parents had already been through this the year before since many of the parents there have kids starting another year at the school since it has both 3 and 4 year old classrooms, but I was still thankful to have Gary there to do it with me.

In other news, I have picked one zucchini, one summer squash, one cucumber (do you see a theme here) and one spaghetti squash from my garden. Not quite a rousing success but still I was happy with my little crop. There are a whole lot of tomotoes out there but they are of the green variety. Here's hoping that the sun remains strong enough for the next few weeks to ripen them up.

Also, I am down another 3/4 of a pound on Weight Watchers. I know it would go better if I could get to the gym regularly but I haven't gotten that part of my schedule down yet.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

What is the fascination?

For some reason all children seem to have a fascination with balls. Now you can get your head out of the gutter...I am talking the round toy variety. We have just about 100 balls in our house. I know this because I recently tried to organize our toys here. I ended up cleaning out our toy boxes and rooms and rid ourselves of some older less used toys. It was in this toy cleaning mission that led me to my discovery of just how many balls we have in our house. We have the typical outdoor variety of swirled pastel colors, wiffle balls for the t-ball set up here, some fun squirty ones that we have for the pool, little ones that rattle, some that go round and round in other toys, you get the drift.

So I organized our toys as best as one can with two active little girls with fantastic imaginations that like to stuff things into pocketbooks. One of the bins I reserved just for balls and I was amazed at how many I ended up putting into it. Now comes the love of all things round. The first thing that my kids do each morning it seems is to empty out this one bin of balls. I can't figure out why they do this. It's very intriguing to me.

Outside in the yard we have a few bigger balls to play with. Again it is fascinating to me to see the girls play with these balls too. Especially to see how the hand eye coordination comes together for them. Kicking a ball is something I have probably always taken for granted as something you just do, but apparently it is yet another milestone for children. Learning to throw, kick and hit a ball are all gross motor skills they have to learn. Who knew? Reason #1502 for why I am again not going to get mother of the year award.

In other news, we finished our long weekend away in New Hampshire. We did Storyland again and I am afraid we may have scarred Aimee for life by taking her on the log flume ride. She loved all of it until she got wet. She will get knee deep in sand and dirt and get any type of food on her shirt. But when the slightest bit of anything wet gets on her pants or shirt she wants to immediately change her outfit. Another toddler/preschooler quirk I have found.

We also had a family first for us. We all slept together in one room while in NH. We have access to a family house that my parents built forever ago before they had us kids. However, this weekend both my parents and my brother and sister in law were up there as well. So we were in one room with a double bed, pack and play and aerobed. This is the first time Aimee has slept in a bed without a side rail. Of course the bed was technically on the floor and to be completely honest we did find her at one point face down on the floor after rolling the 6 inches off the mattress, but she did a great job with it overall.

Next up for us is preschool. We go to a parent orientation on Thursday and then a visitation day next Tuesday to gear up for the big start next Thursday. So we'll see how it goes. Why oh why do I have these terrible visions of Mister Mom where I go the wrong way for drop off and pick up? Stay tuned for our adventures in preschool.

As for my own quest, I am down 2 lbs from last week at this time. So it's a start. Not quite what they see on the biggest loser but then again I don't have 4-6 hours to devote to exercising everyday.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Fruits of My Labor

I have struggled with weight my entire life. I have always been athletic, was a former gymnast but always seemed to carry around about 20 extra pounds. It didn't keep me down and I could always still fit into a size 12 easily. But once I had children the whole weight thing has just shifted from bad to worse.

After having Aimee, I was able to lose most of the baby weight save for about that original 20 plus another 15 or so. Then having Nicole I was able to get back down to my pre-weight which again is about 35 (20 before and 15 post-baby) above where I want to be. But then since Nicole's birth I have had a hard time getting the weight off. I hate it because I have all these clothes pre-children that I want to get back into. At first I attributed it to my hypothyroidism which I was diagnosed with about 8 months after having Nicole and since I hadn't gone to my primary care doctor forever so who knows how long it was actually going on. But I just got word that after nearly a year of changing my dose of synthroid that I am now where I should be with my thyroid function. So there it is...I am fat. Yep, so I decided that I would be inspired by my friend Emily over there at The Shrinking Mama that I would join Weight Watchers (okay...again) and try to get the post baby and pre-baby weight off. So I went on Tuesday night and weighed in, got my pamphlets and sat through a very helpful meeting. See, I think that most heavy people know what they are supposed to do, it's just putting it into action that is the hard part. So I have made a committment to myself that I am going to do this. It helps that my insurance will reimburse me up to $150 with my weight loss benefit but still, I am doing this. I am not brave enough to post my weight on the side there, but suffice to say it's over 200 lbs.

So wish me luck and endurance. I think that is what I really need! I will let you know how I do along the way. We are heading away this weekend to try Storyland one more time since Aimee has not stopped talking about it since we last went. So I have already packed a cooler full of good food and hope that I can convince my ever loving husband not to eat out every single meal because that is definately my downfall.

See you on the flip side!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Summer where have you gone?

Bad poster I am huh? Well, my excuse is simply that I am trying desperately to get the tail end of summer to last a bit longer. And by the way, did I miss July 4th because I swear it was just May. So in an attempt to enjoy these last few warm days, we have been going to the beach, walking around the neighborhood and generally spending as much time outside as we can. Which puts me away from my computer and my lovely readers (whoever you are...), so my apologies.

The change of seasons is always bittersweet for me. I do like the fall and the winter is fun with the first snow and holidays but still, there is something about summer that makes it my favorite season. Spring for me is the worst. Despite the fact that my birthday falls just after the onset of spring, I still do not like it. It’s a tease. You can have 30 degree days and 80 degree days and monsoons of rain. In fact my mother loves to tell me that the day of my fourth birthday party was so warm we had the party outside in the yard. Take that global warming since it was 1978. But there is something about the end of summer that really bums me out and I can’t really put my finger on what it is. Part of it I am sure is the fact that I will soon have to leave the house with a jacket either on or in hand. Another part is the fact that long ago the meaning of the end of summer vacation meant back to school which when you are in the grades is never a good thing. This year I think it is because my little girl Aimee is going to a real school. Okay, she’s not exactly ready for buses and full days but she is going to preschool and she will be there two mornings a week.

It is the exact same school that I went to for my preschool. It scares the life out of me because it wasn’t long ago that the two of us were navigating this mother-baby relationship, both being rookies at it, and trying to get her to sleep more than 4 hours in a row. In fact the memory of that is still so fresh in my mind that I know she actually slept through the night (and by that I mean midnight to 6AM) at 6 weeks of age because we were down the Cape for a wedding when she did it. And now, here it is at nearly the end of summer and I am perusing the back to school sales for her fall wardrobe. Hell, I even looked up the local ballet and gymnastics schools so that I can figure out our “Schedule” for the fall.

On the other hand, my role as a parent has become even more important to me lately because I can remember my own experience at preschool. Sure it’s hazy but it’s there. I can also remember my dance recitals. Again fuzzy but some parts very clear down to the terrible haircut and pastel tutu. So I am careful of what I do and say to Aimee lately because these are the times she will remember. It’s easy when they are infants and think you can do no wrong, and to an extent that is still true. I am the one who kisses the boo boos and gets the middle of the night cry outs. But I know now based on my own experience that these are the formative years already starting and I in no way want her to lose the fantastic personality she has and her total enthusiasm for most of what we do. Come on, how excited can one get for dentist visits? The pressures of children today are so far reaching, probably further than I imagine. I know that the pressure as a parent to do the right thing is overwhelming at times. And I thought that first night home from the hospital was stressful. Aimee has such a great attitude and loves everyone and part of me wants to keep her next to me so that she never has to get her feelings hurt by the bully at school or the mean girl on the playground. But the other part of me knows that this is all part of the life experience and I can’t deprive her of it. I just hope that she is confident enough to make her own decisions and that she feels loved and safe enough to tell me when she has made her mistakes.

So here’s to the end of the summer. May the weather last until October and the memories of summer 2008 last a lifetime.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Reflections

Today was an interesting day for me. Today was the start of camp. Camp you may think? What is camp? Camp to me is Camp Fatima EC Week. Google it if you want and see what comes up. For most of the summer it is a camp for young boys but then for this one week during the year, a group of phenomenal people get together and volunteer their time to people of all disabilities. They are treated as exceptional citizens: all activities are centered around their interests and they are catered to by volunteer staff. Camper’s enrollement is entirely free, funded by generous contributions-both large and small from many different people as well as many fundraisers throughout the year. Some campers have minor disabilities and others are ones that require thousands of dollars of equipment just to communicate the most basic needs. The volunteers take their vacations from work or they take time without pay and they go up to Gilmanton Ironworks, New Hampshire where they sleep in what is best described as cabins, sing more songs than you ever thought possible, and connect with some amazing campers and other volunteers. It is a one-on-one camper/counselor ratio so every camper has a counselor. There are also volunteers to cook and serve food, clean the kitchen, run the infirmary, lifeguard at the waterfront, take campers out on a boat across the lake, put the campers up on the horses, run the arts and crafts table and many many more that escape me right now. There are approximately 150 campers both men and women equally matched with 150 counselors plus all the other volunteer areas mentioned above.

But, the volunteers are second only to the parents of these campers. I have seen some amazing parents up there. They do this caretaking for these campers day in and day out with little to no break for campers that are well into their 40s and sometimes 50s. And this is the one week a year that the volunteers take over and give the families a break. I know many of you may be thinking, what is she talking about this for?

Well, 8 years ago I was introduced to camp by a co-worker of mine. I have a younger brother who is Autistic and non-verbal and we had tried for years to get him into this camp we heard so much about. This co-worker suggested I volunteer and that would get my brother into camp no sweat because they really need more counselor volunteers and look favorably on campers whose family volunteers. So I took a week of vacation time and volunteered for a week at Camp Fatima and it forever changed my life. I wish I could explain it to you all, how it is up there, how it makes people feel and how it brings you together with people you otherwise wouldn't have anything in common with. But it's really something you have to experience. It's special and it's amazing. But, since becoming a mother, I have not gone back to camp. It has been 4 years since I was at camp and I miss it. I don't think I will be going back for quite some time since I just can't leave the girls for a week yet, but my brother Chris LOVES it there. It is truly his summer vacation.

I have met some wonderful people at camp too. A group of girls in Cabin 11 who I had a wonderful time getting to know. And you do get to know people when there are 15 of you in a cabin that is about 20 feet by 20 feet. We even had pre-camp meetings to distinguish who would bring papertowels, coolers, games, decorations, etc. But really, it was a chance to get together before the big event. I have met some wonderful guys up there too. I could go on and on about the people up there but really it comes down to how great they all are.

This time, my mother and older brother dropped Chris off at camp and they came home telling me who they saw, who his counselor is and who asked for me. It's funny because my mother asked me just after I had Aimee how I would liken being a mother to being a camp counselor. I thought about it for a bit and realized that being a mother has been very similar to being a counselor. Being a counselor, you are 100 percent responsible for your camper but it is only for the week. You are in charge of showers and being sure that all corners and creases are clean. You are in charge of dressing and putting tags in the back and you are in charge of what goes into their mouths be it food or drink and when they need more and when they have had enough. The first glimpse you get of your camper is an application that the parent filled out back in March that you read the night before the camper arrives. Sometimes they are right on the money and sometimes you wonder who the heck they were talking about because the person you got is nothing like that for good or bad. I can also appreciate the applications more now that I am a mom. I can see why they put in there her favoirite color is red (or purple or blue) when there is a spot for "other comments". It is because those are the first shorts she picks out every morning and it could be a bad day if they are dirty or it is too cold for shorts....It's very similar to dressing Aimee. She picks out her clothes every morning and some of her summer wardrobe that I painstakingly picked out goes unworn in her drawer since she has decided she does not like them. And God forbid you try to put something on Aimee that she doesn't want to wear, it starts the day off all wrong too. Of course the major difference of camp counselor versus mom is that you go home at the end of camp. Being a mom never ends and I mean that in a good way.

So as I sit here reflecting on my past weeks I spent up at camp, I am a bit nostalgic, sad and a bit jealous of all of those that get to go. But I am also thankful. Thankful that I have two beautiful, healthy children. Hopeful too. Hopeful that one day I can go back to camp with my two daughters along with me to experience camp too. Because while I know I will go back to camp at some point, I can't wait to have them with me at Fatima. I also think that being a mom will make me a better counselor because while I have always had the sisterly knowledge of having a special needs person in your life, I can now relate somewhat to how hard it must be for these parents to leave their special children with a complete stranger. I know it's not for everyone and I realize that it's a lot to ask of people, but the experience of it is amazing and I couldn't let the day go by without recognizing it.